As a young child my father use to repeatedly tell me, “Take care of yourself first. You can’t help nobody if you can’t help yourself first. No matter what, take care of you”. To be honest, I did not agree with him for a long time.
It took until my late 20s for it to finally make sense. I always wanted to be the one to help others, but I realized few were there to help me when things fell apart. This is why I am extremely selfish with my time and energy now. I focus on me above anything else.
Once I am in a position of stability, then and only then will I extend my hand to help others. The offer of help still comes with restrictions. I am a father and I can not willingly put myself in a position that will negatively effect my child.
I get in now Dad. I understand completely. If I’m not good, I can’t make others good. I can’t help someone else with their garden if mines is a mess.