As a young child my father use to repeatedly tell me, “Take care of yourself first. You can’t help nobody if you can’t help yourself first. No matter what, take care of you”. To be honest, I did not agree with him for a long time.
It took until my late 20s for it to finally make sense. I always wanted to be the one to help others, but I realized few were there to help me when things fell apart. This is why I am extremely selfish with my time and energy now. I focus on me above anything else.
Once I am in a position of stability, then and only then will I extend my hand to help others. The offer of help still comes with restrictions. I am a father and I can not willingly put myself in a position that will negatively effect my child.
I get in now Dad. I understand completely. If I’m not good, I can’t make others good. I can’t help someone else with their garden if mines is a mess.
Definition of manhood doesn’t have one definitive answer,
It has billions,
Many are confused and distraught,
Some only know the way they were taught,
Many are castaways,
Never loved only endured,
The definition of manhood,
Billions of answers,
Millions have died,
No one cried.
A continuous mental lapse…The disregard for continuous mishaps….It’s them never you….Wanting to be right but never true….God forbid that you’re ever wrong…But hey you’re God’s gift and fuck whoever else was born….How dare they challenge your chemical imbalance….It’s met with either violence or silence…Superiority complexities….You hide them sexually….Just common human defects…The nature of human rejects.
I will remember and recover, not forgive and forget. -Unknown
If they do me dirty then I will wash myself clean….But I’m not forgiving and forgetting a thing….I’ll still build my palace and for you I will still have malice…So let’s be clear you’ll never be welcome here….I never forgive the flagrant…Never again trust the double agent…Your friend list will always need maintenance.